I was created when God said "I need a human to take over my coolness responsibilities" and thus I was born. Ever since I could walk my parents knew I might be the greatest thing since Bob Ross or Stan Lee. Ever since I was eight I have had the need for success, no matter how small. I played sports such as basketball to itch that need. People complained that I was too rough in my wins but they where just to weak to look at my greatness. Teachers, such as my math teacher, would tell me daily how great I was at everything. I never let those praising words go to my head, I believe being humble is very important. Soon I was rising to the top of all school sports and my oppurtuninty arose. A chance to co-coach Jr. boys basketball. I was sent threats telling me not to take the spot. People where jealous of my immense skill and wanted nothing but for me to fail. My math teacher once again supported me saying it would be an honour to coach along side me. So I started a petition and got an estimated millions of signatures but that wasn't enough for the haters. So I stepped things up with a campaign of posters and religious celebrations in my name until people begged me to coach. I was once again on top and I am now coaching a team that could easily make it to Nationals. It's hard being this good, but you know what they say great greatness comes with great responsibility. But hey, even the sun gets bored having the world revolve around it, so I step in.
It's my duty to help those who wish to be at least half as good as me. It's a big wish but possibly achievable. Below is a list you should follow to be greater and stronger. As God gave me his cool, it's my job to pass that cool on to the less fortunate.
Below are the pros and cons of following the above list.
Pros | Cons | ||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|
Better performance | None | ||||
Higher level game play | None | ||||
People bowing down to you | Still none | ||||
More wins | Truly there’s none | ||||
Less humiliation | Not lying, still none |